


Cracked Mirrors

by marcosburlybiceps



Series: Drunk in Love: The Series [3]
Category: Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-16 05:17:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18088148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcosburlybiceps/pseuds/marcosburlybiceps
Summary: Cameron and Cal finally give in and fight. This is the aftermath. Low key KC rewrite.“How do you do that?”I do blink. “What?”“You’re only, what, fifteen? And you stand tall and push against the Colonel, Farley, against me.”





	1. Chapter 1

I chase after Cal after his blow out. The words are thrumming through my head. Only a few steps behind, I call out, “If your heart’s not in this, you’re going to get a lot of people killed.”

He whirls and his large frame almost knocks me on my ass. His scowl is exactly what I expect. “Cameron, my heart is quite literally in this.”

I laugh at the dorkiest thing I've heard.

His hands alight the night.

“Mare Barrow dumped you.” I stare hard at the flames until they sputter. “Act like it.” I press down with my power and feel a hard shove before they rise and engulf his forearms. Sweat trickles down my cheek and I’m unsure if it’s from the heat or effort.

“Funny, you telling me to be careful.” His voice sounds strained. Good. “I remember you doing everything you could to kill back in the prison.”

“Your heart's imprisonment is memorable and mine isn't?” I push down harder and speak through gritted teeth.  “Starved. Neglected. The people around me were dying. I was lucky enough to escape.” More than sweat trails down, now.

Either Cal is swaying or I am. “They were employees doing their jobs. Feeding their families. Following orders.”

“And I am a child.” I snarl. Abruptly his power ceases clashing against mine. I drop to my knees and pull back the Silence. I sit and breathe until I can open my eyes without the world spinning. Cal is leaning against a barrack wall. He looks as exhausted as I feel. Probably only stubbornness keeping him standing.

“You’re our former Prince and you only care about one person and she _isn’t here_.”

We stare at each other. Does he expect me to blink first?

“How do you do that?”

I do blink. “What?”

“You’re only, what, fifteen? And you stand tall and push against the Colonel, Farley, against me.”

I feel a blush rising and try to shrug, “What else is there to do? Be crushed?”

He looks at me some more. He stands up and holds out a hand, “Come on, I’ll walk you back.”

I laugh again and stand on my own. I don't want to touch him. I don't want to be near him. “If only you'd said that when we met, _Your Highness_.” I knock our shoulders hard as I pass, leaving his clenched jaw and heat behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further chapters will be much longer.
> 
> Send love to [Jazijaxi](http://jazyjaxi.tumblr.com) for being a great beta. Thank you for the help in keeping these two in character.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner is something with oats as usual and cools fast. Kilorn has taken to eating with me some days. We mock the food together like that somehow makes it taste better.

“I’m tired of being bleeding frozen. Look at this.” I hold up a spoonful of mash. “Already cold.”

Kilorn’s knee knocks into mine, “I should be complaining. You’re the one in charge of fixing it.”

“Fix one thing and three more break,” I grumble.

“I hear the Guard will be moving to Rocasta soon. It has to be better than this place.”

“And to Corvium from there.”  _ To Morrey.  _ He looks at me with sympathy. Everyone knows what I’m fighting for.

Kilorn’s head bobs up. “Hang on.” And off he runs to the door. I wait and wonder if that means I can eat his food. I’ve dug my spoon in his bowl when he’s  back with a scowl and Cal sitting beside him.

“Get out of that.”

Over the weeks since our fight, Cal and I have circled each other. We both work on the wires of the compound. I stay out of his way as much as I can, but he still pops up more than I'd like.

Like now.

I reach for neutrality, “You’ve made a friend?” Might have missed it.

“You’re admitting we’re friends, Cam? I’m touched.”

I smile and dig my spoon back into his food. We whack silverware for a while. Cal starts to stand and Kilorn groans.

“Cal, what did I tell you?”

He pauses and sits back down.

“What  _ did  _ he tell you?”

Cal’s eyes finally meet mine. “That he would follow me around every day for warmth unless I joined him now.”

I laugh.

“Hard to brood with a puppy following your heels.”

Both boys glare and I laugh some more, but mostly at Kilorn. The room  _ is _ warmer with him in it. It’s one of the smaller rooms near the mess hall. Kilorn and I can talk and slap forks together without older residents being judgemental. Either I feel isolated for being a newblood, being from New Town, or being young. There’s no winning here.

People trickle into the room as we act our ages. Cal stares off with his arms crossed. His shoulders seem to drop as we go on. The space fills with soft conversation. Kilorn is showing me a new knot type from the threads he keeps in his pocket. I like his smiles when I figure them out, though I couldn't care less about them. I look up after a while.

“A full room in New Town never felt like this.”

“Not in The Stilts, either.”

“Not in any Red town,” a voice some tables over adds.

Kilorn and I turn towards it. The older woman has long straight black hair sprinkled with gray. She has lightly tan skin that has folded with age. Her hands hold a steaming cup of something. I smile politely and I miss the father who taught me how. “Where are you from?”

She smiles back and her dark eyes drop into crescents, “A broken town near the Piedmont border. I had dreamed of leaving for decades. Now I stay in an encampment so cold my arthritis has gotten worse.”

“Is your family here with you, grandmother?” This comes from one of the four teenagers across from her.

“No. I’m all that's left of us.”

The teenagers exchange looks before one stands and takes a seat at the woman's table. The rest clear up their things and follow. Kilorn’s shoulder bumps mine before he asks, “May we join, too?”

A few eyes widen at the threat of a newblood and the fallen Prince sitting beside them. The woman nods, “Push some tables together.” She gestures towards the silent stragglers. “All of you.”

Furniture scrapes and the tallest of us noticeably hovers by his unmoved chair. For a heartbeat, I consider beating him with it if he leaves. Our eyes meet.

“I'll get more drinks for the room. Cameron, will you help me?”

“Oh, um, okay.”

A few requests are tossed and I walk through some doorways. Cal keeps up easily. The mess hall is mostly empty. The families have moved on to bed. There is enough in the canteens to fulfill what was asked. Cal holds the bottom of each cup and passes them to me. Cinnamon swirls around us.

“I'm sorry for how I acted before.“

His voice is low and I still almost drop the cups. He keeps his gaze on the pouring liquid.

“I shouldn't have fought you like that.”

Our fingers brush with the next pass. His bronze eyes look uncertainly at me. Tiberias Calore VII looks sincere. I push some cups into his hands and walk back without him. The Heir of Norta apologized. To me. I stop abruptly in the hallway and a stranger has to rapidly dodge slamming into me. I backup quickly against the wall and wait. Cal walks through and spots me. His face is back to that stoic mask.

I clear my throat, “I don't care about the fight. Farley keeps telling me to practice with you anyway. I care that you don't. You're surrounded by the people you almost ruled and you'd rather hide than face them.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but, “No. I don't want to hear it.” This time I do go back to the cooling room.

Kilorn looks relieved at my return. Hands reach for their drinks and one of the others continues speaking.

“I was born in Lakelander, but I am from Norta. My family managed to cross the border to Norta, Gods know how.” A pause as she blows on her cup. Her skin is only a few shades darker than mine and her brown eyes have a yellow tint that bring them closer to Cal's. She can't be much older than Farley. I quickly glance at the two people in Lakelander blue who are looking at each other with eyebrows raised. “My parents had heard rumors of a democracy to the West. They thought it was worth it. The crossing was as hard as you all think. My mother said one crossing is enough for us. We settled near the Piedmont border.” She looks around with a harsh smile. “Yes, we went that south before giving up.”

“Alice. That's incredible. How did you survive? Are you certain your family doesn't have newbloods in it?”

Her eyes shift to me. “I have no idea.”

Cal takes that moment to rejoin us. Guess he wasn't listening for an opening. He settles his chair next to mine and I dig deep for the resolve to not start another fight with him in a group of strangers.

“I hear every inch of the borders are patrolled by soldiers.”

Cal's arms are already crossed.

“Only the passages that are easier to travel. The rest has watchtowers every twenty miles. An excellent use of Nortan money.” Alice is braver than me. I watch her stare right at His Majesty. I don't know what his expression is, but he stays silent.

“Well Jo and I, Grace, never left Carsly until now.” One of the four teenagers says. What must be Jo bobs her head. They both have light brown hair and skin. Grace's hands are wrapped around her cup and covered in rings. Her wavy hair has colorful streaks of purple and stop at her shoulders. Jo's could be any length the way its braided up and away from her face. “We worked for the same person until they were jailed for being a rebel. They were executed before anyone could get them out.”

Jo fiddles with a fork though there is no plate in front of her, “Gave us both the courage to join.”

“Are you related?”

Jo smiles slightly, “We're married.” There's a pause as the others digest this. New Town had plenty of families like theirs that couldn't be married, but said they were anyway. They both keep their heads up and eyes don't shrink from contact. That spine is what got them here today.

Kilorn breaks the tension, “My boss died too. My friend tried to get us both out of town, but it didn't work. We both ending up joining the Guard.”

Grace takes him in--floppy hair, unassuming face, braided worn bracelets, seated next to an almost King-- and asks, “Isn't your friend Mare Barrow?”

Kilorn smiles slightly, “Yes “

Cal shifts and his chair creaks. Someone whistles.

The old woman who gathered us all together looks up from her soft conversation with her neighbor, the teenager who called her ‘grandmother’, to ask, “What about your family?” Do she have a collection of orphans somewhere?

“My mother abandoned me and my father has never been around. The Barrows are my real family.”

Alice sits up, “Oh, I know Tramy. We work on the greenhouse together.”

Kilorn laughs and they toss insults about Tramy back and forth.

“And what about you?” A new voice asks.

And now most of the attention is on me. I can rant all day about my beginnings with the Guard, but that’s mostly to myself or the people who started it. I’m not used to this much curiosity or attention. I repair machinery. That's all. But these people have already shared and there's a warmth radiating from them that's stronger than any fire powers. “I was taken from New Town.”

“Taken?” The old woman.

“I am one of the newbloods that Mare Barrow had been collecting. She didn't let me say no like she let the others.” That old bitterness bleeds into my tone. “I haven't heard from my family since.”

“Who did you leave behind?”

“My mother, father, little sister, and twin brother. All but my brother are in New Town. Morrey is behind Corvium.” My voice starts off strong and softens by the end.  _ Morrey. _

Eyes assess my age. They have to be. “He's one of the child soldiers.”

“Yes.”

Alice reaches across the table and places her hand on my own. Her eyes are soft and I look down to hide the beginning of tears. She holds on for a while as I put myself back together. The conversation continues amongst them and although it hurt, I feel grateful to be a part of this moment. For a warm hand on mine silently letting me know they're here.

I let them talk around me, happy for once to just listen.


	3. Chapter 3

I've been avoiding everyone after the last meeting over  _ the lightning girl _ . No matter the people, they see us newbloods as objects to be used. I gut walls to fix wires and machinery. As angry as it all makes me, I still want to find Morrey. I want my brother back. I can't leave. I make myself  _ useful. _

I'm swearing through the screwdriver between my teeth with my head and shoulders inside paneling when something bumps my leg. Probably a rat. I put my shoulder into it and keep swearing.

“Cameron.”

I pause for a moment. “Go away.”

“I know you've been in there for a while. I brought you food.”

Is that? My stomach growls. I pop my head out to Cal holding a bowl of something brown and smelling of cilantro. The Guard robbed someone rich. I take the bowl and dig in. Can't talk with my mouth full. Run along, now.

He doesn't leave. Is there room in the wall for me to eat? I eyeball it. No. “What do you want, Cal?”

“I want to practice with you.”

I choke on a potato, “What?”

“I'm having… trouble… controlling the flames,” He takes the bowl from me until I stop coughing. “I've been angry since the last broadcast.”

I look down him expecting to see burn holes. His clothing seems fine, but, “I try not to use my power as much these days.”

“I know you practice with Sara. That Julian tells you to practice with me. He says the same to me.”

“Does Julian also mention what a prick he is?” Cal's face darkens. I shift the bowl between my hands. “Maybe I could use some control on my anger as well.”

We settle on a day to meet. I swallow the last bite and yearn for some bread. New Town never had it. The Guard here makes it sometimes and it quickly became my favorite thing that is churned out of the kitchens.

“We need a chaperone.” Cal quirks an eyebrow. “I don't trust myself to not go too far with you.” Might as well be honest. He probably already guessed.

Cal's jaw clenches. I watch him cycle through answers until, “Will Sara suffice?”

“You'll have to ask her. She heals this block. Her shifts take up most days.”

He nods and leaves to whatever hole he uses to hide from the world. I call before his footsteps fade out, “Next time bring bread!”

 

* * *

  
  


Sara scribbles something down slowly. She usually draws out what she wants me to know. I still haven't learned to read. Cal could read her messages for me, but we have found the less he interprets what she wants and teaches me through it, the less irritated I am all around. The former Prince reading what I can't sets something in me off. So we wait while she draws and we relearn how to breathe.

I wipe sweat off my forehead as Sara passes me her book. Some kind of clock. A snail. A figure and a smaller figure. “I get ‘slower’ but the two people are confusing me. I’m not that much shorter than him.”

Cal gets off his butt and eases close enough to see. His finger traces the arrow between the figures. “Is this me on my knees?”

Sara nods.

“Go slower between that point when he's standing and kneeling?”

We trade glances. He's powerful enough that by the time I have him down, I'm seconds behind. She wants me to draw that out.

“This is because I won't find you a hand speaker, isn't it?” I whine. “I told you, the people here avoid me as much as they avoid seeing you.”

She grunts at me and motions us to go again.

“Hand speaker?” Cal watches Sara's hands dance.

“Julian found in the notes of a novel a mention of people who spoke to each other with hand movements.” Cal’s eyes widen. “They want me to find a Red who may know more about it.”

“I only know of army motions.” He rubs his jaw. “I never thought of using it as a language.”

Cal has let himself go since Mare openly renounced the Guard and joined Maven. His jaw is now on its way to a beard and his hair is choppy and very uneven. I suppose he doesn’t have anyone to ask to help him with it. What a riot.

“Looking at you is pissing me off. Are you ready?”

He glares down at me. Only a handful of inches of difference between us, yet he glares down well. “What now?”

My hands raise as I feel the level of Silence in the room. It rises as I explain. “You walk around with a joke haircut as some kind of penance for losing your girlfriend.”

He watches with his arms crossed. He's used to the beginning levels by now.

“There are hundreds of people here. Someone would be willing to fix it if you just asked.”

“They avoid me too, Cameron.”

I shake my head and ease it higher, “It's different. You're the Prince that fell for the Guard. You're a curiosity that rebuffs them. They want to know you.”

“Then what is Sara? What are you?”

I glance at her. She watches us no more or less interested than usual. She shrugs. “Sara is a valuable healer. We Reds don't get those. We get barely trained medics that survived their term at war. Even after joining the Guard we're still more comfortable with the healing we know than the perfection we don't understand.”

Cal's look shifts from irritated to interested as I go on. I push it up another notch. My palms start to sweat like always at this level. Cal looks unbothered, but he always does.

“I am an almost six foot tall black girl carrying around wrenches and an attitude.”

Sara laughs. 

Cal releases a long breath and his arms open in front of him. I feel his power press against me, then push, and his hands alight. He makes a ball and tosses it from hand to hand.

“I was upset over Maven. We have the same hair.”

“Are you going going to cut off everything else you share? Your skin?” 

One more notch and we're at that point Sara wants. Sweat is stinging my eyes, but I'm out of clothing I can take off. Cal's fireball flickers a few times. His power knocks into mine and I can hear an nonexistent wind.

“Easy.” I hear his voice, but my vision is flickering. “Remember to breathe.” I choke out a breath. “Now in, Cameron.” I can see him more clearly now, and he's leaning back slightly with his eyes closed. I grip my hands together and concentrate on keeping the Silence level.

Sparks fly around Cal. His skin is pale. His hands hang limply. But he still talks me through it until Sara claps for ‘time's up’.

I fall to the cool cement floor. I raise my shirt as far as modesty will let me and drop my spine. Loud tapping brings my eyes to Sara holding up her notebook. Words. I close my eyes again.

“Julian will help you next time. I have to work. Bye Cam.”

I wave.

Slowly, slowly, I start to shiver. What kind of dirt is on these floors? How much of it is in my hair? I sit up. Cal is gone. Anger definitely helps me tap into my power. That's clear to everyone by now. Cal is an easy target. He doesn't stop me from tearing into him though there are other people I could rant about. Why is he taking it?

I grab my strewn things. I think I have enough shampoo to get the dust out. If not, Farley's going to have to deal with me. I'm not going back to the squalor of New Town because she doesn't know how to apologize.


End file.
